how to build a swampscott dory

You’d be down the block with friends, pouring kerosene on the fireant hills. Suddenly the roar of dad’s powertools would cease to echo off the longleaf pines and all the neighbors would visibly relax. This meant it was dinnertime, so you’d best pocket those matches and get your butt home. Years later when dad asked me to help him lay the mahogany deck, we oftentimes wouldn't even bother to stop for dinner… it was that much fun. Thanks, Dad!

VI. You wouldn't believe how many hours I've spent sanding

This deck glowed profoundly once, with a hard epoxy shell pornographically exposing every sinew of the grain. But not anymore.

You see all those cloudy spots in the mahogany? How it's all murky and depressing-looking. I did that. On purpose. Untold moons of sanding away a gorgeous finish yet again so we can add another coat of epoxy.

In the end this deck will be gorilla strong. It will be gloriously good looking, making the prettiest boat you've ever seen look like oyster pus.

But for now it just feels a little Sisyphean.

Just do unto it.

Hair buns held taut, then yielded just a little, then frizzed entirely as the ladies headscratched for a solution:

Perhaps they could spare their remaining husbands by designing a rugged surf dory. A fast sailer. Round-sided to haul in nets of crab. Highly stable to never swamp, not even in the treacherous Nor'easterly swells.

Huh?

Well mayhaps they could visit upon the Indians and learn their timeless methods of survival?

Nay, friend. For God had passed judgement on the savages and their gravemound housed a taffy shoppe.

How about they forego fishing the terrible ocean, and simply trap the plentiful mutton and venison of the forest?

Aye, friar. Except ladies do prefer chowder to stew.

Well then let the women also take to sea. Joining the men in their peril, so any loss of life would be shared - the ultimate act of union?

Oh Christ, what was that first idea?

And thus, with love as her mother, ye Swampscott Dory was conceived.

how to build a swampscott dory

VI. You wouldn't believe how many hours I've spent sanding

Whence the Swampscott?

Pilgrim grim.

Just do unto it.